Zhifa
A passionate young soon-to-be medical doctor with interest in writing and #HealthForAll

Thoughts on Love


Martina McBride's My Valentine is my companion on this dark Sunday too early morning. Its 2AM and I oddly feel simultaneously in love and brokenhearted, well maybe it has to do with me being the "weird girl" or maybe its just the weather or maybe I'm missing home, maybe I miss eating breakfast on the coffee table in my mom and dad's living room... I never know for sure which one is the cause of why I'm right now writing this. 

This odd feeling makes me want to write an important part of the human emotions that often being taken for granted. I want to talk about... love.

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What is love?
I believe love is hard to define because people's definitions of love are often different, there is no common definition about love we all can agreed upon and thats when it gets tricky. Personally, my definition of love will be my mom and dad. I can feel that you just asked, why, why mom and dad? why not my boyfriend? why not the guy I once sat next to during a talk? Well heres why... I have been in several relationships with boys throughout my 18 years living on earth, during those relationships I thought it was love, truth is, it was not love, none of it was. What I was seeing as love during those relationships turned out to be only the enjoyment of having a company and the superior feeling that you "own" somebody; which are clearly not love.


I define love as my mom and dad because its a form of gratitude; without these two I will never be here on this very planet in this very moment pouring my thoughts out in this post, therefore I believe God loves me, He loves me through these people, that makes my mom and dad as love. Secondly, I'm very comfortable with them, like very comfortable, like lying on a bed and eating donuts with hot tea after took a long nice shooting hot shower comfortable. Being around mom and dad also make me feel safe, you know like you're feeling so secured, the feeling like no one on earth can hurt you. My mom and dad, they always give (or at least, try) to give me things I want... from buying me a boyfriend jeans in Semarang that I can just buy by myself in Jogja, to send me packs of homemade cookies from Ambon to Jogja just to make me happy. Their determinations to make sure that I have all I need and their will to do whatever it takes for me to be happy, even though sometimes I get so stubborn and don't obey the rules, they always forgive me. Love is when mom called you at 9 PM before they go to bed to make sure you have eaten your dinner and do salaah. Love is when dad out-of-nowhere text you asking how are you doing when you have just finished talking to him on the telephone 3 hours before. Love is having your mom shouting your name to tidy up your room before going to school. Love is having mom and dad asking you to use the Skype so they can talk to you via videocall. Love is having mom and dad asking you about who is the person you're going out with and do lame-funny jokes. Love is mom saying "nak, jangan gendut-gendut nanti bajunya seng bisa dipake lagi ke kampus". Love is mom not sleeping just to make sure everything's okay when you're sick. Love is having dad called for only 30 seconds asking have you eaten your lunch. Love is having your mom and dad being so kepo, having them wanting to know every single thing you do in your life from what you have for breakfast, what colour of shoes you're using to campus, what clothes you're wearing to calling you at night asking how to re-install line on your mom's android phone. Love is simply having your mom and dad around to annoy you.


Then comes mom and dad's prayers; something that I believe is so powerful. Fyi, I'm the kind of person who likes to ask for prayers from anyone (esp. people I'm close with or spend time with). I once told my mom to please pray for me and she told me that she is constantly praying for me, from her way to the office, before lunch, during salaah, after dinner, before going to bed, she told me she always pray for me. And after that moment I just realize something... Something that, trust me, people, even though you say your boyfriend/girlfriend is the most romantic person in the world because they bought you flowers, give you a cool birthday present or whatever that you think is romantic; they cannot topple my mom and dad, karena menurutku yang paling romantis hanyalah doa... apalagi doa kedua orang tua. 


Mama dan papa,

You guys are the only real love I know.
And I love you. For real.

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